Princes of the Apocalypse

We Can Fly!

...Kind of

Nym and Steve-Oh get materials for spells.s
Tyr asks for med kits, innkeeper hasn’t restocked since group stole them.
Nym and Tyr comment on the horribleness of the kits being stolen. Shopkeep thinks nothing of it.
Shopkeeper says he’s hoping to get some more from the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG Road.

Group goes to inn
Spend then night. Tyr plows the lady-beast again. Nym and Steve-Oh can hear everything (Probably enjoy themselves)
Steve-Oh makes innkeeper wash her hands before breakfast

The Mystery Gang leave Redlarch via the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG Road towards the Sumbar Hills. The town aren’t happy to see them leave. The sky is as gray as a corpse’s cock.

Group strikes mist after half a day. They can’t navigate for shit.

Group hears a frog or some shit and can’t figure out where Kermit is.
Sounds like Kermit is distressed
As they proceed forward, it sounds like Kermit is descending from the Heavens towards the hills/forest.

To everyone’s surprise, Steve-Oh successfully navigates through valley into rock area.
Group finds spire poking through the fog like a dick through a rubber.
Kermit stops croaking/screaming.

It’s night now. Group pitches tents. Nym reads Book of Cuddly Bunnies (?)
Book is warm. Nym enjoys the writings of the madman who wrote it. He doesn’t QUITE understand the madman’s ramblings, surprisingly.
Steve-Oh meditates as his watch. He hears Kermit (?)
He leaves the group like a fuck wit and follows the screaming frog towards the spire.
Expectedly, Nym and Tyr are attacked in their sleep
Tyr is FUCKED UP, Nym receives a near fatal tickling. Both wake up to Mountain Lions
Tyr screams a manly scream and Steve-Oh finally fucking hears. The asshole surprises everyone by for once running towards the camp with the intention of helping his ‘companions’

Steve-Oh continues his fuckwitism by trying to attack the kittens with a tent, but fails and smacks himself with the tent, entangling himself.
Nym enjoys the fantasy of murdering Steve-Oh. The giant squid in his head thinks this is a good idea. Cthulu suggests a contract. Nym offers his entire right arm in exchange for winning a single combat scenario. Henceforth, Nym is NEVER allowed to barter with anyone or anything, real or imaginary.
Nym’s arm goes black and smoky and makes a racket. The large cats run away, Tyr snags one of them with his axe as it runs.
Steve-Oh requests Tyr and Nym keep the noise down, as he is trying to meditate.
Nym is unable to move his arm.
Steve-Oh figures out that Nym’s arm is possessed by demons n shit, and puzzles out that the demon/s come from that book that Nym was reading.
Tyr heals with a good med-kit. Steve-Oh uses his cursed med-kit on Nym’s arm, who takes damage.
Steve-Oh figures out that the med-kit was fucked.

Group goes back to sleep. Tyr takes watch. Hears mountain lions in pain off in the distance.
Wakes up Nym for second watch.

morning n shit
Group heads towards spire. The come to a chasm. They spot a bridge. Predictably, the head to the bridge.
Spire appears to be a village or something?
Two men chilling at the drawbridge.
Steve-Oh introduces himself. A female exits the spire. Group enters spire.

Chick asks what group is doing. Groups talks of the missing dignitaries, and presumably lost dignity. Chick mentions Griffins.
Group lays all secrets before the chick, who requests gang speak to the captain of the guards. Guards burst in through every available opening in the room

Mystery Gang escorted through the spire. More knights join the lynch mob.
Gang find themselves at the very top on the spire, in front of a dude in fancy-pants armour.
Fancy-Pants dismisses guards like an idiot.
Turns out that the Chick my have been Kermit all along.
Kermit leads party to ground floor. Monk dudes heal party. They don’t like Nym.

Kermit leads party into a feast. Hall filled with well dressed knights. Nym walks in smelling like corpse’s jizz, Tyr shovels food into his mouth, Steve-Oh brags incessantly.
Fancy-Pants gives the lay of the land, talks of cue balls, and gives the history of his Order (Knights of the Feathergale)

Someone bursts in yelling “MANTICORE”
Fancy-Pants offers a fucking big ass diamond as reward for the Manticore’s head. Group goes “why not?”
Group obtains Griffins and fly the fuck off.

Group spots Manticore
Tyr is Griffin Master, and cuts the Manticore’s stomach.
Tyr shoves a Javelin inside its anus (Literally. No joke)
Tyr is such a badass that the Manticore can’t touch him
Steve-Oh lasso’s the Manticore’s wings

Manticore crashes to the ground
Steve-Oh sets its anus on fire and the Manticore dies. Fancy-Pants is pleased. Steve-Oh receives a Diamond ring and is no longer a single lady.


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